A Tender Heart for My Aching Back

About 15 years ago, as I crossed my legs at the table of my college cafeteria, my back suddenly "went out" with out any warning. The pain was so great that all I could do was rest all my weight on my elbows at the table while friends went for help and a car. What the heck happened?!!

It was a pivotal moment in my life when I realized how quickly my health could leave me. The recovery from that episode was long and at times excruciating. If you've ever had REAL back pain, it's something you will never forget. You can't do anything without pain if your back doesn't work right.... Walking, sitting, sleeping, sneezing, even laughing!

Although the initial pain dissipated over a course of 6 months, I became accustomed to living with a nagging sort of pain for several years after that. Thankfully, one day I realized that the pain was gone. Sure now and again there were revisitations of some pain, but those have been nowhere near as intense.

I had lived with the concern though, that pregnancy would cause the pain to reappear. By God's grace, my back actually fared quite well during my last pregnancy, and actually seemed a little better than usual. Go figure.

But today, we had an awful scare, as I had been doing a craft on the floor with Ian and had gotten up and felt the familiar sciatic nerve pinch. No biggie. I've had it before. It comes. It goes. But today, it escalated rapidly, and like 15 years ago, completely without warning. As I tried to find a comfortable (read: less painful) position, I ended up on the floor, lying on my back and in tears. Not so much for the pain, but for the fear that the old enemy had returned, as I had long feared it would.

Steve grabbed an icepack and a blanket and helped me get comfortable on the floor, and tried to encourage Ian to let me rest. Poor Ian! He was very concerned at seeing Mommy in tears. He patted my chest as if to say, "there, there". "I help", he said, and he grabbed a damp washcloth off our crafting table and wiped my face. Then he grabbed his sippy cup with orange kool-aid in it and tried to give me a drink!! :) Too bad he has a cold, and he was jamming it between my lips, pursed in defense of the cold germs!

But it's the thought that counts, and his thoughts were all very kind. Unfortunately, the irony of the situation, and the weirdness of it (to be on the receiving end of a toddler's attempts at compassion) made me giggle a bit, which made my back hurt and made me cry in pain. It was a vicious circle. The more Ian tried to help, the more tickled I became, and the more pain I was ultimately in. But I will always treasure his care and concern, and thank God for his tender heart.